Welcome to my blog, where I take pleasure in words and pictures, be they my own or those of others. I'm a creative individual, and the crafty side I explore on my 'other blog', Picking Up The Threads, which I hope you'll visit too. I'm sure you understand that I have sole copyright of my original work and any of my contributions, so please ask if you want to use them. A polite request is rarely refused. So, as they used to say on the BBC's 'Listen With Mother' radio programme, many years ago: "Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin."

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Reconciliation





He dreamed last night he heard again
her dreadful sobs and cries of pain,
her footsteps on the wooden floor,
the handle turning in the door, the lifted chain.

When morning came he braved the room
and entered with a sense of doom,
but dappled sunlight chased away
his heartache, and each healing ray dispelled the gloom.

The mantel clock ticked softly on
she’d left her note there and was gone,
her picture still adorned the shelf
and smiled at him despite herself, the fragile one.

The image stirred a memory fond,
He walked out to the path beyond
the open door, the glistening snow
brought cleansing, showed the way to go, how to respond.

The ancient oak within the wood
called out to him, he understood.
Their carved initials in a heart
declared that they would never part, entwined for good.

The peace he craved came with the noose.
He climbed the rocks and kicked them loose
And now her troubled spirit claims
his soul, and draws it to the flames, they have their truce. 

© Marilyn Brindley


I discovered a verse form called 'The Florette' (created by Jan Turner) at Shadow Poetry Resources. The Florette consists of two or more four line stanzas and has a rhyme scheme a,a,b,a, Meter: 8,8.8.12.Like the outgrowing of a small flower, the fourth line of each stanza is longer, and enwraps the previous lines. Line #4 requires an internal rhyme scheme that rhymes the eighth syllable with the end of line #3, and continues to add on four more syllables than the other lines so that the  fourth line ends rhyming with lines #1 and #2. I do reish an extra challenge and I really enjoyed wrting this.

Taking part in 'The Mag' courtesy of Tess Kincaid, who gave us the image above by Andrew Wyeth, to stir our creative juices. Join us there to see what other contributors made of the image.

24 comments:

  1. Excellent, you've successfully met the criteria, even with the 16th line, which I had to read 3 times! Lovely storytelling.

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  2. You rocked this one! Great job.

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  3. Nice poetry form...I enjoyed the storytelling of the ill-fated lovers, though with the noose, its a bloody way to entwine for good ~

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  4. As a purely cold, dry, pedagogical critique, I'd have to say - remarkable!

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  5. shivers....what a darkness in this one...the memories haunting until you can take no more and find the end of yourself...

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  6. I wasn't expecting the noose at the end...chills...

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  7. This is fantastic both in form and function Little Nell.I so love your Florette.
    The rhyming scheme accentuates the tragedy, kind of like in the poem, the Highwayman. Beautifully composed. Thank you for sharing this. Bravo!! =D

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  8. Really enjoyed this, Nell. Thank you for introducing me to the Florette.

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  9. I love this, new to me, poetry form The Florette and will try it out for sure. Thanks for that Marilyn.

    Your poem inspired by the photo is just stunning, imagery, rhyme, rhythm, what more could we want? Your joy in writing it is reflected off the page :)

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  10. Was little surprised at the end, too drastic an ending! Nicely done on the florette.

    Hank

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  11. Really like the form...and my! what a chill you've brought me..excellent!

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  12. Oh my this was marvelous, and I'm hoping to find a moment to give this wonderful idea a try at it myself. I love a good mix of writing in new ways, it's like bringing new life to old words. Your character's voice here could be speaking of my own characters actions in my piece. It's quite fitting! Also, since you are such a pro at this Magpie tales, is my posting on Monday too late do you think?

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  13. I love formatted poetry, something with structure, and this one is quite interesting. Well written, it tells a story and flows nicely.Very well done!

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  14. I listened to George Harrison's Something today, this internal rhyming while the line continues can work very well indeed.

    Something in the way she moves
    Attracts me like no other lover
    Something in the way she woos me

    Somewhere in the way she smiles
    That I don't need no other lover
    Something in her style that shows me

    Something in the way she knows
    All I have to do is think of her
    Something in the things she shows me

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  15. I love this form and enjoyed your agile use of it.

    =)

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  16. Wow Nell, this is great , so refresgingly dark, for some reason it triggered a memory in me of a song by " Tito and Tarantula" called " After Dark" , thanks a lot

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    Replies
    1. It must have been the note she left!

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  17. Wonderful Nell - sad and unexpected end though...

    Anna :o]

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  18. Lovely form of story telling which you've done very well. I had a sense of doom early on but wasn't sure what it was going to be.

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  19. You took on the challenge of this form ~~ mastered it beautifully.

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  20. There is a fine rhythm that sits rather well with the darkness of the sentiments.

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